Here is an article that I published at Ezine Articles a few short months ago that quickly climbed to the top of my "article hit list". With the number of readers who have clicked on and read it, I can assure you that it gives value in helping your marriage relationship. Please give it a read and see if you can Fix Marriage and get the magic back in your relationship.
Here it is:
I'm going to go ahead and list 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship, and they may NOT be the things you think of first. For example, do you think that one of the ways is to always "change things up", to have fresh ideas, or to "spice" things up? No! Being predictable, or consistent, is way more important than always surprising someone with something different. Relationships need to have a certain amount of predictability, of consistency, to build that level of trust in a relationship.
If you want your relationship to grow stronger by improving the level of trust, the following seven methods will definitely help you do so.
First, as mentioned above, you need to be consistent, even predictable, in your dealings with each other. Many people think that "spicing" things up and constantly bringing new things to the relationship will keep the romance alive; and while that is not a bad thing occasionally; to build the trust levels in your relationship, you need to stay predictable! Surprising your partner with a small gift or having a surprise date night will be nice, but consistency is the key to making your relationship work. Build the trust by being consistent on a day to day basis.
Next, be aware of your body language! Is it matching what comes out of your mouth? Are you telling your partner that you agree with him/her but have your arms crossed over your chest? If your body language isn't matching what you are saying, the mixed message will not install trust in your relationship and will not help you to mend what needs mending. Be honest with what you are saying and it will match the signals your body gives out. This is another step in the building trust process.
Third - One of the most destructive things that can happen in a relationship is to keep secrets from each other. Secrets destroy all trust in a committed relationship and doesn't give you anywhere to turn, but away from each other. Be honest and open with each other. Communication really is key to a terrific relationship and "secrets" don't belong anywhere in it.
Fourth, are you giving your partner the trust that you are asking back from them? Trust is a two way street. Look to yourself to ensure that what you are asking for from your partner is also being given to them by you. After all, if you don't trust them, why should they trust you?
Fifth, stick up for yourself. Sometimes you may need to say "no" to what is asked of you. To always say "yes" no matter what is not a good thing. If you never say "no", it erodes the respect that your partner has for you. You essentially become a doormat. Don't let this happen to you. Your partner will respect you more and it is another building block where you can build trust in your relationship.
Sixth - In keeping with the communication theme from above; you both need to realize that you are not mind readers! Let your partner know what your needs are. Don't them them guess, just tell them straight out. Be honest. As long as your needs are not selfish, it won't hurt the relationship and the stress of trying to guess, but still feeling like you are not getting it right, will harm the trust in that relationship. Just be open about what your needs are and ask what their needs are in return. At that point, you then know exactly what some of the things that you need to work on are, with no guess work required.
Seventh, and finally, don't be afraid to grow and change. If you keep building the trust between the two of you, if you keep communicating, and if you always place their interests before your own (if you BOTH do this, you will always win! Always!) your relationship will strengthen. It will grow so strong that any problems that crop up will be dealt with easily by the two of you. Consult with each other and really listen to what each other is saying. Work on the solution and get an agreement of what you will both do to confront the adversity you are facing.
I'm not saying that these seven steps will be easy or not cause any pain at all. At least some of them will bring discomfort, and sometimes real pain, to the relationship. By utilizing communication and addressing concerns head on TOGETHER and building those trust levels, what was once difficult will become much easier to deal with.
Whether you are married and trying to save your marriage, are in a committed partnership that needs help, or you are trying to get your ex back, you'll find reference material to help you out at http://fixmarriage.me
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Lacroix_Toro
Michelle Lacroix Toro - EzineArticles Expert Author
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Breaking Up Is So Painful! Fix Your Marriage and Save the Relationship!
Yes, Fixing Your Marriage is not that difficult when you have a helping hand showing you the way!
If you want to save your marriage, your relationship, stop the divorce, or any of the above, check out The Magic Of Making Up and find out how to fix your marriage today!
What have you got to lose when your marriage is already in trouble? Take a look through the material and see how it feels.
Good luck. I'm rooting for you!
Michelle
If you want to save your marriage, your relationship, stop the divorce, or any of the above, check out The Magic Of Making Up and find out how to fix your marriage today!
What have you got to lose when your marriage is already in trouble? Take a look through the material and see how it feels.
Good luck. I'm rooting for you!
Michelle
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
On the Verge of Breaking Up or Separating?
Kicking and screaming or begging and pleading is NOT the best way for you to get your spouse back when you are having marriage problems. No matter how much you want to, it is not the best way for you to communicate with your estranged spouse, just don't do it!
Take a moment to read the following article and you'll see what a better option for you would be.
First things first. Appear to be in control of your emotions! Do NOT act desperate, needy, or emotional! This won't make your spouse want to spend time with you, but will make them back away so fast you won't see the door shut, but you'll hear the SLAM!
Has your spouse accused you of being needy? Change that image they have of you and appear to be in control. Notice I stated "appear". Because you are upset and your emotions are all over the place, you probably won't be able to BE in control, but to APPEAR to be in control is a start to opening the doors of communication.
Is your spouse talking about leaving? Talking about divorce? This may be hard to understand at first, but agree with the separation or the breakup.
Yes, I know you probably won't want to, but agreeing to do so, in a calm manner, will shake them up and make them look differently at you. Just agree FOR NOW!
Now that they've left the home or you are in the middle of a separation, what do you do? Do you call them? Do you leave messages? Do you do a "drive by" past their new place of residence? NO! Leave them alone! Give them space and give yourself some time to plan your course of action.
While driving them nuts by constantly calling, leaving messages or text messaging definitely will NOT get them back in your life, giving them their space right after a break up WILL open up a door for you to get back with your spouse or ex.
Remember, one of the golden rules in life is that we all "want what we can't have". Giving them their space is rooted deeply in this golden rule. Your spouse or ex hasn't heard from you since the breakup and they are wondering WHY? They haven't forgotten you, in fact, you are making them think of YOU even more this way! They are wondering WHY you haven't called them? Don't you care? Don't you miss them? WHY? WHY? WHY? This is definitely where you want them to be.
Take this time apart to shore yourself up. Do some things that YOU like to do. Go out with a friend, go shopping, go fishing, (do anything you like to do!) or help someone else who is having a hard time. Helping someone else who is in a bad situation will help you to see that while you are in an unhappy place in your life, there are always others who have it worse than you. It helps with the perspective of things.
Stay busy! If you stay busy, it's easier to talk yourself out of "maybe they want to hear my voice" and you blow all of your hard work. Finish that project you started last year, take up a new hobby, visit someone you haven't seen in a long time. Just stay busy!
While you are giving yourself some time to think and smooth out your emotions, the same thing is happening with your spouse. They have been thinking about you and, because you haven't been demanding, needy, and emotional, they are starting to wonder why they broke up with you.
Give it about a month before you even think of making contact with them.
After giving it about a month of not calling your spouse or ex, it's time to call them and talk.
Do you know what to say? Do you want to KNOW what to say?
Tips on WHAT to say and HOW to say them at Fix My Marriage or you can go to http://squidoo.com/fixmarriage1
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Lacroix_Toro
Feedbase
Take a moment to read the following article and you'll see what a better option for you would be.
First things first. Appear to be in control of your emotions! Do NOT act desperate, needy, or emotional! This won't make your spouse want to spend time with you, but will make them back away so fast you won't see the door shut, but you'll hear the SLAM!
Has your spouse accused you of being needy? Change that image they have of you and appear to be in control. Notice I stated "appear". Because you are upset and your emotions are all over the place, you probably won't be able to BE in control, but to APPEAR to be in control is a start to opening the doors of communication.
Is your spouse talking about leaving? Talking about divorce? This may be hard to understand at first, but agree with the separation or the breakup.
Yes, I know you probably won't want to, but agreeing to do so, in a calm manner, will shake them up and make them look differently at you. Just agree FOR NOW!
Now that they've left the home or you are in the middle of a separation, what do you do? Do you call them? Do you leave messages? Do you do a "drive by" past their new place of residence? NO! Leave them alone! Give them space and give yourself some time to plan your course of action.
While driving them nuts by constantly calling, leaving messages or text messaging definitely will NOT get them back in your life, giving them their space right after a break up WILL open up a door for you to get back with your spouse or ex.
Remember, one of the golden rules in life is that we all "want what we can't have". Giving them their space is rooted deeply in this golden rule. Your spouse or ex hasn't heard from you since the breakup and they are wondering WHY? They haven't forgotten you, in fact, you are making them think of YOU even more this way! They are wondering WHY you haven't called them? Don't you care? Don't you miss them? WHY? WHY? WHY? This is definitely where you want them to be.
Take this time apart to shore yourself up. Do some things that YOU like to do. Go out with a friend, go shopping, go fishing, (do anything you like to do!) or help someone else who is having a hard time. Helping someone else who is in a bad situation will help you to see that while you are in an unhappy place in your life, there are always others who have it worse than you. It helps with the perspective of things.
Stay busy! If you stay busy, it's easier to talk yourself out of "maybe they want to hear my voice" and you blow all of your hard work. Finish that project you started last year, take up a new hobby, visit someone you haven't seen in a long time. Just stay busy!
While you are giving yourself some time to think and smooth out your emotions, the same thing is happening with your spouse. They have been thinking about you and, because you haven't been demanding, needy, and emotional, they are starting to wonder why they broke up with you.
Give it about a month before you even think of making contact with them.
After giving it about a month of not calling your spouse or ex, it's time to call them and talk.
Do you know what to say? Do you want to KNOW what to say?
Tips on WHAT to say and HOW to say them at Fix My Marriage or you can go to http://squidoo.com/fixmarriage1
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Lacroix_Toro
Feedbase
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Fix Marriage - More Resources Available To You
If you are looking for more information on how to Fix Marriage or how to fix your relationship, then head on over to Fix Marriage and see WHAT needs to be in a special letter to send to your ex to get them interested in you again. There is also a list of "Do's and Don'ts" that you'll want to pay attention to if you are interested in Fixing Your Marriage.
Most people just act on what their emotions are telling them to do after a break up, and those actions couldn't be any further WRONG~!
Find out what you really need to do to turn your marriage or relationship around.
Click Here For Even MORE Information:
Most people just act on what their emotions are telling them to do after a break up, and those actions couldn't be any further WRONG~!
Find out what you really need to do to turn your marriage or relationship around.
Click Here For Even MORE Information:
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Train Your Man (or Woman!) by T "Dub" Jackson - Video
Hey, Everyone,
T "Dub" just sent out another video that I thought you'd be interested in about "Training Your Man (or Woman)". Check it out and tell me what you think about it, ok?
Remember, if you are interested in the full version of The Magic of Making Up, just Click Here.
That said, here's the video I mentioned earlier. Enjoy!
T "Dub" just sent out another video that I thought you'd be interested in about "Training Your Man (or Woman)". Check it out and tell me what you think about it, ok?
Remember, if you are interested in the full version of The Magic of Making Up, just Click Here.
That said, here's the video I mentioned earlier. Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
FREE REPORT - Great Dates While You Are On a Budget
ok, Here is the FREE REPORT I promised you. I decided to put the free report in a blog format so it would be readily available at any time and I figured it would complement my Fix Marriage website.
For those of you who would like to give your relationship another chance, your marriage another shot in the arm, please check out The Magic of Making Up and let me know how you are doing with it.
It really would make me feel good to hear how many of you are able to save your marriages and relationships through an offer I made on my blog.
Be happy with each other!
Now go to the next post to read your FREE REPORT (there are FIVE sections, make sure you read them all!)
Michelle
For those of you who would like to give your relationship another chance, your marriage another shot in the arm, please check out The Magic of Making Up and let me know how you are doing with it.
It really would make me feel good to hear how many of you are able to save your marriages and relationships through an offer I made on my blog.
Be happy with each other!
Now go to the next post to read your FREE REPORT (there are FIVE sections, make sure you read them all!)
Michelle
FREE REPORT - Fun Dates On A Budget - Charitable Related Section
Charitable
This won’t be a first few dates category, you’ll have to know the person a little bit before you do these, but you’ll get to know the “true” person inside by going to places like this with your date.
Ok, this is one of those categories that just doesn’t fit in with anything else, but it’s definitely worth mentioning. I’m not sure why, but not many people will freely own up to liking the feeling they get when they do something nice for someone else with no intention of getting a reward.
My husband and I watch “Extreme Makeover” every Sunday night because we like the feeling we get when we see people that don’t have much, those that have gotten a bad deal in life, get help in the way of a fresh new start with a new home. Man oh man, you never appreciate what you have so much as when you see others with so little and not complain.
Here are a few suggestions for “dates” that will make both of you appreciate what you have, no matter how little you think you have, because you’ll see others with so much less and still appreciating life.
Habitat for Humanity - WOW! Plan for the entire day, wear old clothes you have no problem getting dirty, bring gloves, and be ready to work like you’ve never worked! (just kidding, although you do stay pretty busy). Habitat for Humanity provides lunch and drinks so all you have to do is bring your two hands ready to work at whatever they tell you to do. You might tile (they show what to do every step of the way), you might paint, you might plant bushes, and you might just dig holes for mailboxes. You’ll spend the day with others who want to help those less fortunate and leave feeling like a million bucks. Exhausted, but feeling like you are on cloud nine because someone else is one day closer to having a better, safer life.
Soup Kitchens - Your bigger towns and cities especially will have these nearby. Help is always needed to assist in the distribution of food at these kitchens. You could spend an hour or a few hours, but help is always needed. HINT: if you have an extra couple cans/boxes of non-perishable food in your cabinets or pantry that you can donate, it is always appreciated. No matter how little you think you have, there are many, many others who have much less than you do.
Shelters - Most of the time, you won’t be able to just walk on in to these places. You’ll have to be completely screened and vetted before you get in the door, but if you are willing to take the time to do so, your heart will just swell up when the abuse, the neglect, the indifference that some people have endured, sometimes for many years, is right there smack in your face. These people need help! They need to know that there are others out there who CARE and who want to help them. I’ve brought in handmade quilts and bibs for the babies, brought in suits appropriate for interviews/work that I am no longer able to wear for those entering the work force, I’ve babysat children so their mother can go to that interview. You can read stories to the kids, teach an adult to read, and give basic lessons on how to use a computer. It doesn’t matter what you help with, it’s all needed. HINT: leave the nice clothes and jewelry at home, and don’t go bringing any attitude to these types of places. The people who live there have seen plenty of attitude and it wasn’t any of the right kind. Bring your heart, bring sincerity, and bring willingness to help with what is needed to assist another through the crisis they are in at the time. What your date and you will see in each other during a few hours spent here will show you more about each other than a hundred “dates” anywhere else. Beauty and youth last only so long, a loving helpful heart is there for life.
Hospitals and Nursing Homes - Talk about making others feel good, go visit someone who can’t get around to see their family and friends. Again, rules have changed in the last few years and because of safety concerns, you may need to go through a screening and vetting process before you are able to visit those not related to you. Check with each specific hospital or nursing home you’d like to visit to get the exact rules.
Do you have talented friends or family members who can sing or dance? Do you have a great reading voice where you’d be willing to spend time reading to a person or to a group? Are you the bubbly type who loves to get people excited about being in a game of some sort (name that tune, spelling bees, etc.)
Call a local nursing home and set up a time where a few of you can get together and do a short “review” of song and dance, add a reading, tell a few jokes (clean, of course!), get some people smiling!
Ok, Folks, that’s the list that came from brain storming last night with some friends about where to go and what to do for dates when you’re on a budget. I’m sure we’ll be thinking of other things in the near future and I’ll be adding them to this list and freshening it up.
Hope this report has been helpful to you in getting good ideas about dates that won’t cost you an arm and a leg. Also, if it’s the ex you’re wanting to get back to dating, check out The Magic of Making Up because there is a right way and a wrong way to get your ex back. What you did before didn’t work, so you might want to try it This Way and watch what happens.
This won’t be a first few dates category, you’ll have to know the person a little bit before you do these, but you’ll get to know the “true” person inside by going to places like this with your date.
Ok, this is one of those categories that just doesn’t fit in with anything else, but it’s definitely worth mentioning. I’m not sure why, but not many people will freely own up to liking the feeling they get when they do something nice for someone else with no intention of getting a reward.
My husband and I watch “Extreme Makeover” every Sunday night because we like the feeling we get when we see people that don’t have much, those that have gotten a bad deal in life, get help in the way of a fresh new start with a new home. Man oh man, you never appreciate what you have so much as when you see others with so little and not complain.
Here are a few suggestions for “dates” that will make both of you appreciate what you have, no matter how little you think you have, because you’ll see others with so much less and still appreciating life.
Habitat for Humanity - WOW! Plan for the entire day, wear old clothes you have no problem getting dirty, bring gloves, and be ready to work like you’ve never worked! (just kidding, although you do stay pretty busy). Habitat for Humanity provides lunch and drinks so all you have to do is bring your two hands ready to work at whatever they tell you to do. You might tile (they show what to do every step of the way), you might paint, you might plant bushes, and you might just dig holes for mailboxes. You’ll spend the day with others who want to help those less fortunate and leave feeling like a million bucks. Exhausted, but feeling like you are on cloud nine because someone else is one day closer to having a better, safer life.
Soup Kitchens - Your bigger towns and cities especially will have these nearby. Help is always needed to assist in the distribution of food at these kitchens. You could spend an hour or a few hours, but help is always needed. HINT: if you have an extra couple cans/boxes of non-perishable food in your cabinets or pantry that you can donate, it is always appreciated. No matter how little you think you have, there are many, many others who have much less than you do.
Shelters - Most of the time, you won’t be able to just walk on in to these places. You’ll have to be completely screened and vetted before you get in the door, but if you are willing to take the time to do so, your heart will just swell up when the abuse, the neglect, the indifference that some people have endured, sometimes for many years, is right there smack in your face. These people need help! They need to know that there are others out there who CARE and who want to help them. I’ve brought in handmade quilts and bibs for the babies, brought in suits appropriate for interviews/work that I am no longer able to wear for those entering the work force, I’ve babysat children so their mother can go to that interview. You can read stories to the kids, teach an adult to read, and give basic lessons on how to use a computer. It doesn’t matter what you help with, it’s all needed. HINT: leave the nice clothes and jewelry at home, and don’t go bringing any attitude to these types of places. The people who live there have seen plenty of attitude and it wasn’t any of the right kind. Bring your heart, bring sincerity, and bring willingness to help with what is needed to assist another through the crisis they are in at the time. What your date and you will see in each other during a few hours spent here will show you more about each other than a hundred “dates” anywhere else. Beauty and youth last only so long, a loving helpful heart is there for life.
Hospitals and Nursing Homes - Talk about making others feel good, go visit someone who can’t get around to see their family and friends. Again, rules have changed in the last few years and because of safety concerns, you may need to go through a screening and vetting process before you are able to visit those not related to you. Check with each specific hospital or nursing home you’d like to visit to get the exact rules.
Do you have talented friends or family members who can sing or dance? Do you have a great reading voice where you’d be willing to spend time reading to a person or to a group? Are you the bubbly type who loves to get people excited about being in a game of some sort (name that tune, spelling bees, etc.)
Call a local nursing home and set up a time where a few of you can get together and do a short “review” of song and dance, add a reading, tell a few jokes (clean, of course!), get some people smiling!
Ok, Folks, that’s the list that came from brain storming last night with some friends about where to go and what to do for dates when you’re on a budget. I’m sure we’ll be thinking of other things in the near future and I’ll be adding them to this list and freshening it up.
Hope this report has been helpful to you in getting good ideas about dates that won’t cost you an arm and a leg. Also, if it’s the ex you’re wanting to get back to dating, check out The Magic of Making Up because there is a right way and a wrong way to get your ex back. What you did before didn’t work, so you might want to try it This Way and watch what happens.
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